Where's the Broom?

First, let me explain that I have this love-hate relationship with cleaning. There are days I simply love cleaning and I attack my tasks armed with rags, cleaners, toilet bowl brush, broom, duster, mop, vacuum. Standing ready to do battle on the grime and germs my father affectionately called “Betty and Barney” bacteria. I have my check lists, my to do lists and I turn on my music and I am ready to begin. Then I wake up and reality is nothing like I dream.

See I get ready to clean up and as I go to my cleaning supplies I have discovered that one of the children has borrowed the window cleaner, used it all gone and never told me. That’s ok I have vinegar. Then I discover all the cleaning rags have been hidden or eaten by the same creature that eats one of every pair of socks. After hunting for my cleaning rags, I discover that my duster, or dustpan is missing, and the children have removed the broom from the handle to use as a sword.

By now I have consumed 2 cups of coffee, spent an hour looking for the things I need to clean, or just pick up the mess. I glance up and discover that the children have decided NOW is not the time to do their arithmetic, no they have decided it is time to work on spatial reasoning skills by hauling every Lego, cardboard box, fashion doll, radio controlled whatever into the living room. The crayons have been dumped out all over the table, cereal bowls are still on the table and there are small spills of milk all over.

I should tell you that I also homeschool my passel (6 children), and all of them are over the age of toddler hood. They are fully capable of doing their assignments while I clean, however they make their excuse of making room for me. I have assigned them chores to be sure, but there comes a point I just have to do it, because teens are not always thorough, and I firmly believe if it weren’t the excuse of chores they might get more school work done. Of course, reality is that they will do whatever they can to distract themselves from whatever they are told to do, anyone with teens knows that.

So now, I must tell them to pick up their things, put them away, come back down stairs and get on to their school work. The new excuse is “We couldn’t find the math books.”  Now I know where the books are supposed to be, but they have decided that the home of math books are anywhere but the bookshelf. I have found a math book in the dirty laundry a time or two.

Now it has been three hours into the morning and my third cup of coffee. I am already well tired, and I haven’t even begun to sweep the kitchen. This is when I really could just wave a wand and POOF, all done. And even when I get to it, I KNOW that there will be some other mess to pick up. I haven’t even made the bed yet. My husband having left for work at 7 am.  I still have classes to teach, the phone rings….

Mom. Well, now it is another hour or so of talking to her. It is then that one of the kids decides to skip grammar and starts the vacuum at which point I must get him/her to stop. Break up an argument. One of my daughters has decided to help and skipping her way up the stairs she begins to clean the bathroom. This is also the time the youngest has discovered we are out of toilet paper. Now I must run to the store.  Cell phone rings and I am informed that we are out of coffee, because it got spilled, and that we need more milk and that recurring mantra that echoes in a household this size: “What’s for Lunch?”

Now I am not complaining really, because this is my normal day and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Honestly. Oh, I know that there are people that would love that perfect, organized home and dinner on the table at 6pm…I’m lucky if it is on by 8pm. That is just not the reality here. It’s a large family. Oh, I am aware that there is advice out there on organizing etc. I have read every book I could get my hands on and tried every imaginable method of organizing. Frankly, I have decided that it is far easier to just wing it and see what happens.

At the end of the day trash is taken out, toilet and sinks are scrubbed, counters are cleaned, and I even manage to get the sweeping and vacuuming done daily. And by I, of course, I mean the children get their simple chores done. Dusting might be wanting, and there might be yarn, projects, and school papers round about, but at least whatever that sticky stuff on the floor was is all gone! Little victories. Maybe it wouldn’t make the cover of Better Homes and Gardens, but home is more than just a show-place. Still, I really do wish they would put the broom where it can be found again (and in one piece).