My Two Cents
My two cents.
Have you ever encountered a busybody? I am sure you have. Every time I encounter one I am reminded of the Music Man and the song “Pick a little, Talk A lot” If you don’t know it, you should see this movie. These ladies go around spreading gossip, rumors, and innuendos about the librarian because she is different from them. The leader with her big hats and feathers followed with all the other ladies in town because She’s the mayor’s wife, pick a little, talk a lot and it’s all cheap. It’s humorous, but today we are either the librarian or the mayor’s wife. Oh, sure we’ve done away with big hats and dainty shoes, but the roles are unchanged.
Today it’s the grammar police, joke police, lifestyle police. When you tell a joke, you can almost imagine that shocked intake of breath, the pursed lips, the furrowed brow, and the finger wagging as they tell you how to think and act. It seems they’re everywhere, sometimes in large groups on the internet. Some of them will lecture or act so completely shocked I think we should all invest in fans and smelling salts.
While we have new technologies, it seems the people haven’t changed much that use them.
We say speaking our mind is being honest which replaces respect. It seems it is everyone’s new vocation to go around playing games with etiquette and manners, saying they are out dated until we can use them to bash someone over the head with it. Sarcasm has replaced kindness, in fact there is very little kindness and a whole lot of opening the mouth and letting whatever spill forth. We are all guilty of this a time or two.
It seems that people think manners to be old fashioned, correcting a child’s manners is smothering creativity. Rudeness has replaced politeness under the pretense of “being creative and honest” Which is all good until they grow into adulthood and then the cuteness of “being so honest” has lost its luster.
Seems the favorite game of “AH HA! Caught ‘ya” or “Told you so” is played out on social media like Facebook. Someone does something offensive or “bad manners” in the eyes of a cryptic status poster seeking validation that THEY were right. Their friends jump in in full support of the ringleader, that biddy hen that ignores the fact some things are best kept private. Now you’re stuck feeling like you must defend yourself, your position etc. Well it is another game being played and that is forcing you to feel embarrassed when you have nothing to be embarrassed about.
Good manners are not a matter of right or wrong, they are a matter of showing someone decency. You don’t have to like someone, or even respect someone to SHOW decency and respect towards another. I mean you could even have a sense of smug feeling inside when you display good manners. Some people would say that’s not being honest. That’s being false, isn’t that lying? No, it is just keeping things civil especially in public.
See if you view Facebook as your front porch or a pavilion in a park anyone walking by may catch a glimpse or over hear a conversation. Most decent people would not argue in public, even on the front porch. However, the biddy hens of the “old guard” are not above making admonishments in public, within earshot of anyone listening. Their goal, embarrass you into their way of things.
I do not know when it became vogue for younger people to give advice about raising a family, or life, or anything in general to their elders. It seems to be a new pastime: treat elders as if they know nothing, give them advice and then begin the finger-wagging. Some people would say “Well we shouldn’t silence the voice of the young, they have a right to speak too.” They do have a right to speak, but advice is only best dished-out to those persons you brought into the world, or you are given charge to teach and raise. Otherwise, as a general rule: Unless advice is asked for by another, don’t throw it at them.
We would all do well to maybe pick up an old book on manners and turn off our phones or the Internet, sit in a park and reflect on some things we could all make a little more peaceful and a lot less noisy. I for one am enjoying my refresher course in my collection of books. Manners are not old fashioned, in fact showing good manners these days is a little bit like being a rebel, a pirate, a scoundrel, or a blockade runner of old. In fact, the game is a little fun too, to see how much you can ignore bad manners.
When in doubt, try to contact the other person privately. Or better yet, just read the comments with some popcorn nearby, smile to yourself and say, “Well, isn’t that interesting.” Sometimes it is ok to just pick and choose when it is important to speak. I like “Well, thank you. That is interesting.” I think down south they do it better with “Well bless your heart, isn’t that the cutest thing you’ve ever heard?” I am not perfect, either, but I am making my own strides. At some point, we have to decide to toss that big hat and all those feathers, and be the one with class.
Good manners are not a matter of right or wrong, they are a matter of showing someone decency. You don’t have to like someone, or even respect someone to SHOW decency and respect towards another. I mean you could even have a sense of smug feeling inside when you display good manners. Some people would say that’s not being honest. That’s being false, isn’t that lying? No, it is just keeping things civil especially in public.
See if you view Facebook as your front porch or a pavilion in a park anyone walking by may catch a glimpse or over hear a conversation. Most decent people would not argue in public, even on the front porch. However, the biddy hens of the “old guard” are not above making admonishments in public, within earshot of anyone listening. Their goal, embarrass you into their way of things.
I do not know when it became vogue for younger people to give advice about raising a family, or life, or anything in general to their elders. It seems to be a new pastime: treat elders as if they know nothing, give them advice and then begin the finger-wagging. Some people would say “Well we shouldn’t silence the voice of the young, they have a right to speak too.” They do have a right to speak, but advice is only best dished-out to those persons you brought into the world, or you are given charge to teach and raise. Otherwise, as a general rule: Unless advice is asked for by another, don’t throw it at them.
We would all do well to maybe pick up an old book on manners and turn off our phones or the Internet, sit in a park and reflect on some things we could all make a little more peaceful and a lot less noisy. I for one am enjoying my refresher course in my collection of books. Manners are not old fashioned, in fact showing good manners these days is a little bit like being a rebel, a pirate, a scoundrel, or a blockade runner of old. In fact, the game is a little fun too, to see how much you can ignore bad manners.
When in doubt, try to contact the other person privately. Or better yet, just read the comments with some popcorn nearby, smile to yourself and say, “Well, isn’t that interesting.” Sometimes it is ok to just pick and choose when it is important to speak. I like “Well, thank you. That is interesting.” I think down south they do it better with “Well bless your heart, isn’t that the cutest thing you’ve ever heard?” I am not perfect, either, but I am making my own strides. At some point, we have to decide to toss that big hat and all those feathers, and be the one with class.
